Helping your client discover their blocks, transforms them!

Kerry came in to see me and was feeling very frustrated with her life. She wants so much to be married, to have children, and to enjoy other aspects of life that she has not yet been able to create for herself. She felt that even though she was taking actions, nothing was changing for her. As we talked Kerry realized she hasn't created these opportunities because she holds blocks which are preventing her from receiving her ideal end result. She realized that for her marriage equaled a loss of freedom, or no freedom. Although she does desire to be married, she was also blocking it in order to preserve her sense of freedom.

We are all like Kerry at times and want something for our lives, yet block it for reasons we may not be conscious of. Here are 4 steps you can take your client through in order to help them discover these blocks, understand why they exist, and remove them, enabling the client to then create what they desire.

1. Get Clear: Begin by finding out if your client is clear on the end result they are seeking. Clarity = Power. If we do not have a clear idea of what we want then we do not allow ourselves the power to create it. Help your clients get very clear on what it is they wish to create for themselves. Use the Meditate on the Go Journal to assist your clients on getting really clear.

2. Discover the Blocks: Once they can see their ideal end result as a reality, you begin asking questions.
-What negative aspects would come from achieving that ideal end result?
-Why hasn’t it worked out for you?
-What comes up as you think about this ideal?
-This could be yours but . . . (let them fill in the blank)
*Kerry could see her ideal partner, but realized that in her mind marriage equaled loss of freedom.

3. Create A Win List: As your client becomes aware of why it is that they are blocking their dream, you can use a win list as a cognitive tool in order to help them remove the obstacles and begin creating. Go to all the areas of their life and help them see how what they want can bring positive results, especially in the areas they are holding the blocks. Have them write these wins down and post them where they can be easily and regularly seen.
*For Kerry we talked about the ways marriage brings freedom to life. i.e. having a best friend to talk to all the time, getting to go on dates regularly, the financial support from two incomes, etc.

4. Add imagination: Coach your client on how to daydream in order to re-create their ideal end result. Using all their senses, help them to feel the reality of what they want, see what it looks like, hear the sounds surrounding it, smell and taste the different aspects of it. They can then recall this visualization while doing dishes, jogging, showering, or any other task that leaves their mind free to dream. A great way to use Meditate on the Go!
*As Kerry was describing her ideal to me I saw her pregnant and relaxed on a beautiful beach with her partner holding her. I helped her engage all of her senses to make the visualization very real for her.

Your client is now empowered to create what they desire! We all have the ability to create what we want in life, but many times it takes help to understand what is blocking us from achieving our dreams. To learn more about this process and additional tools to use with your clients sign up for the Intuitive Life Coach Training. See the schedule below.

At the end of our session I had Kerry pull four angel cards to tap into her spiritual team support. The cards were so powerful and right on track with what she had processed, that I copied them for her to take and post on her win board. The cards were in this order: Day Dream, Marriage, Change in Direction and Perfect Timing. Tears filled her eyes in disbelief as she read each one. Here is a copy of them.

The next day I received this email from Kerry:

Hi Sandra,

Thank-you so much for such an AMAZING session yesterday--I am still in AWE over those angel cards! And they are on my desk, in my journal and on my vision board! (I made more copies of them when I got home!). I also released a lot more 'negative' energies this morning via the Emotion Code and I listed all the FREEDOMS I will enjoy when I am MARRIED! WOW! A lot more than I realized! Next step is to copy them and put them on my vision board too! Also daydreaming more...which compelled me to find this picture attached that is now on my vision board thanks to YOUR 'vision!'

Thank-you for yesterday--I needed the reminder and "tune-up!"

Love you tons!

Kerry (the pregnant one on the beach with my HUBBY behind me experiencing FREEDOM in MARRIAGE!!!!)

A beautiful session. Re-framing and role playing for the child who couldn't speak up

One of the participants, we'll call her Mary, during this last Intuitive Life Coach training allowed me to work with her inner child in front of the class. I have worked with Mary in private sessions so I was very familiar with the child, sex/cult abuse that has affected her throughout her life. It has shown up in various forms mentally, emotionally and physically in her. One of the physical symptoms which surfaced in her adult life was her throat developed scar tissue for no particular reason and she could not breathe. Her voice became very raspy. She had surgery on it to remove the scar tissue. Years later, the surgery had to be performed again.
As I began to process her in front of the class, she did not want to allow any emotions to surface or express herself in any way. I asked her how often in her life she has had things to say but felt like she not only could not say them, but would be punished if she did.
"My whole life," she responded.... "My entire life has been one big facade of 'let's not tell anyone the truth.' As an adult, when the truth surfaced, no one wanted to hear it and as a child, I could not speak up for myself. In fact I was threatened that I would be killed if I said anything to anyone about ANY inappropriate behavior that was happening to me."
I began role playing with Mary. I took on being her mother. “Mary, I understand Daddy has done some very bad things to you and we need to talk about it.”
“No mommy, you don’t listen to me.”
“I want to listen to you this time; I want to be here for you.” Mary now begins to cry as emotions erupt, her hands begin to twist the pen in her hand gripping it tightly, pulling the lid off and slamming it back down. Anger is now elicited.
“No mommy, why would you listen, when you never listened before?”
“You’re right sweetie, I didn’t listen before, but now I want to do the right thing for you and I want to stop the bad behavior. Would you like to come with me while I go and confront Daddy?”
I then holler out to Mary’s father in a stern voice. “Mike, I need to speak with you! I know what you are doing to our daughter and it is going to stop this very moment! You will never touch her inappropriately ever again. You will not be alone with her and you will get some help so that this behavior does not continue. “
“That’s good mommy, oh that’s a good one, let him have it, tell him off Mommy! You tell him.” Mary’s anger turns to excitement.
“You and your son’s of bitch’s friends will never come around our daughter again!” (This is a term Mary had called the men who had abused her, it’s important to use the client’s own words to elicit emotion)
“Mommy, keep going, mommy, let them all have it, tell them the way it is going to be from now on!” I continue to set healthy boundaries for the child Mary until I can see Mary feels complete with Mom's role.
I now move into the role of dad and kneel before Mary asking for her forgiveness.
“I am so sorry Mary. I have done very bad things to hurt you and I have allowed others to do horrible things to you as well. I am so sorry, Mary. Instead of keeping you safe, I was the one hurting you and allowing others to abuse you as well. I am going to get help. I will never lay a hand on you inappropriately again. I want to be a good daddy. I want to love you as a daddy should love his daughter. I want to take you to the park and play with you; I want to love you like you deserve to be loved.
A crying, softened heart Mary says, “That’s what I want too, Daddy. I want to be loved like a daughter should be loved. I want to feel safe sitting on your lap, with your arms hugging me and taking care of me. I’ve always wanted that Daddy. That’s all I ever wanted.”
“Can you forgive me Mary?”
Mary physically places her hands on my head as I role play daddy. “I forgive you daddy, I forgive you, I forgive you.”
At this point the entire classroom is in tears, including Daddy and Mary.
“Mary, is there anything else your child self needs at this time?”
“No I am complete…”
“With your arms out reached, bring your new healed child into your heart and raise her up to the current time and space back in your body, back in the room. Let me know when that is complete”
This was one of the most profound role playing, re-frames I have experienced. Putting it on paper does not do it justice.
I am very humbled to do this work, to listen to spirit as to the direction to go in sessions. I was not planning on role playing for this session; it all just fell into place. The rest of the week, Mary had a beautiful glow around her face and her body experienced a new level of peace. Sandra

3 steps to assist your clients in releasing emotional pain

Here at Intuitive Life Coach Academy we like to take technical information and simplify it. Did you know there are 3 basic steps to release emotional pain?
1. Honor- Whatever the experience is,assist your client in honoring it. (Whatever you resist, will persist) It is happening for a reason: Asking the right questions will allow their higher thinking to discover the reasons.
1st The Laws of Attraction are always working for or against them. Question for client.. "How have your thoughts and feelings contributed to this event?"
2nd reason, there are greater things happening beyond our knowledge and understanding. These are events that have spiritual purpose for our growth and experiences while on the planet. Instead of asking "Why Me?" Assist your client to see "What can I learn from this?"
There is always a message of love in all of our pain. The Message of Love, is "What did I come to learn from this experience coming from the perception of a Divine Infinite Being?"
2. Release - Be willing to release old beliefs and perceptions concerning this issue. Your client has created rules that perhaps no longer work for them concerning beliefs and perceptions around the circumstances. Assist them in discovering these rules that are no longer working and are actually keeping them stuck. Question to ask "What rules have you set up for yourself that keeps you in this pain?" Example: "I must do what others want me to in order to feel loved." 3. Reframe- Assist your client in discovering what they would rather have. Reframe the experience by moving them from what "I Don't Want" to "What I Do Want" list. Have the client imagine the ideal scenario taking place. Assist them in bringing in all of the senses to create this visualization and re-create the ideal scene replaying it out loud to you. Thus re-framing a negative experience into a positive one.
Congratulations!
You have just assisted them in receiving a new perception of their story, seeing new possibilities for themselves and assisting them to create a better outcome..
I look forward to your journey as an Intuitive Life Coach.
Attend our Live Intuitive Life Coaching Training for detailed understanding of how to move your clients out of pain by asking the right questions and combining Intuitive Coaching and Energy Therapy to assist transformation. You will walk away with tools that will transform your life and theirs!
To take the next step, give me a call and I will schedule 15 minutes to discuss the program and certification requirements with you.
I look forward to your journey as an Intuitive Life Coach.
Happy Coaching,
Sandra W. Baker, Founder and Trainer
801-628-6788
www.IntuitiveLifeCoachAcademy.com

Relationship Coaching and Resolving Conflicts

Relationship coaching can be the toughest coaching I do. You must stay neutral as the coach and many times you end up being a mediator to a huge fight. Don't let that frighten you.. It is very rewarding to see the outcome. I thoroughly enjoy what I learn through my client's and couple coaching constitutes the majority of my business during this time of year.
For some reason, quarrels surface that may have been repressed through the holidays and now are being dealt with. However, how couple's deal with conflicts will determine whether or not they stay together. Conflict resolution is a skill that takes practice and patience. From you as the coach as well as the couple's you are coaching.
I am very grateful for the knowledge I have received through research, clients and my own relationships concerning this subject. These lessons have taught me how to be a better spouse, mother and even step-parent.
Here is a taste of what you will learn about conflict resolution by taking the Intuitive Life Coach Training (ILC) See Upcoming Training Beginning March 10 (Your Awakening) May 18th (ILC) Course Outline
Mapping this on paper creates more clarity for what is really bothering your client.
When Speaking....
1. Separate the Issue from the person.. (the issue has to be concrete.. Something you saw or heard)
2. Never start the discussion with "Why do you.... or You ..." These become attacks at the person, thus creating a defensive reaction and the discussion becomes heated.
3. Keep the conversation in first person. Include, What do you think? What do you feel? What do you want?
4. What action steps have you done in the past that have not worked and what can you do currently to resolve this and how will it be different in the future.

When Listening.... Listen to Understand not to create the next argument
1. Don't get defensive and interrupt
2. No eye rolling or sarcasm
3. Reflect back to the person what they said (you don't have to agree, but this helps you get to how they feel or their point of view and helps them feel heard)
4. Ask for the win/win situation for both of you and sometimes that means agreeing to disagree.

By using these guidelines as a coach, you can assist in finding happy grounds for each person. Remember to keep the words right and wrong out of the scenario; your job is to promote growth and encourage a loving caring relationship. I look forward to meeting you in training!